That’s not fair
Teaching students always has the ups and downs of right and wrong and helping a student benefit from experience. Inevitably, the statement “that’s not fair” can rear its ugly head. I never knew how to respond to that other than “Well, honey, life’s not fair either. Get over it and move on.” This statement only escalates any given situation. Not only does it make a situation worse, it can also make the teacher appear as the “big, bad bi… meanie”
In reading through Acts 25, it occurs to me that there is nothing in the Bible about “fairness”. Fairness is something that man has developed. I think back to something I learned in some college history course about the measurement. Let’s say you were to buy “3 stones” of grain. Who was the one who got to pick the stones? For me I would have picked BOLDER-sized stones so I could get more bang for my buck. Now I realize that I have taken some of this out of context, but really, who decided? Man. Or how about the merchant who sells linens/cloth and then like for making garments and wall hangings back in the day. Who would want to buy from a merchant who sells textile material by the arm span of a merchant who has the span of mouse as compared to one who has an arm span of a seven-foot basketball player? Again, if all things are equal, the latter would get you more than the former.
In Acts 25, Paul has been imprisoned and is being held in Caesarea by Festus, a Roman governor of the area. “Everyone” wants to see that Paul is killed immediately without trial because of his beliefs and his teachings of Jesus. Festus is pressured by the masses and as a way out, offers Paul the opportunity for some kind of defense in Jerusalem – good for Festus, bad for Paul who could be “accidentally” killed along the way. Paul could have cried out “You know that is not fair!” but he didn’t. He knew that God’s plan was to spread Christianity and the one sure-fire way to do that was to make his way to Rome.
Paul understood he needed to keep calm, he needed to not be anxious, bitter, or angry. He needed to know and speak the truth (not find an emotion reason to explain things), and remain steadfast knowing that there was a promise that God had for him .
Good teachers attempt to be fair in most all circumstances- because there has to be reason for all decisions. Sometimes those good teachers will find a way to help students and try to be “fair” across the board. In those more significant times, some teachers have been known to give grace instead of being fair. Grace and fairness are not the same. Fairness is earned or manufactured, grace is neither. And, by the way, grace is not given evenly among the masses.
So what is my response to a student who doesn’t think it is “fair” for something to go his or her way? I pose it as a situation - what might be fair for one student could be very unfair for another. Stick with the facts. Know the source of the dilemma and work from truth. If you happen to experience grace, be thankful. If grace is not part of the situation, learn from the experience. It might be that you were on the verge of something big.
