Reunions - revisiting yourself

Reunions of this season of my life range from a small family reunion to a bigger high school reunion.  One will be relaxing and laid back, the other could turn out to be an on-the go adventure from one activity or set of people to another.

I thought I had come to a peace in myself that I was not all that carrying of what people think of me.  The bottom line being if they are superficial in "sizing" me up, I probably wouldn't want to be around them anyway.  But then you look back on old pictures.  All I see are happy faces of my friends, my relatives and myself and, even knowing I was not the happiest camper back in the 70's and 80's, still wonder where that person went.

We should be happy in our own skin and not have much concern for the superficial aspects of one's existence yet, reunions tend to draw all the superficiality of ourselves out.  I wonder why that is.  I find myself at times being a major hypocrit to my students of whom I offer the idea to "be yourself rather than what others want you to be" yet the people pleaser in me wants to just make everything okay no matter if it creates an pseudo-self or not.  Rest assured, it isn't the true me.  The one that finds simple happiness in researching things on the interent that will "someday" be used in my classroom, or some other geeky thing that is considered the next free way to occupy my time.

Off to get things cleaned and straightened for the first part of the reunion weeks.  If I stay busy, I don't need to think.  Right?

The Plan

Acts 4:24-31

V1
We were praying for the safety of our friends
We were praying for security of our brothers
But Lord, You always knew the plan
And we now recognize we are here for all others

C1
Sovereign Lord! You made the heaven, earth, sea and everything
Your Holy Spirit dwelled in the heart of David
Who spoke Your plan long before its happening

V2
We praise you Sovereign Lord
You have known the plan for all the ages
If we only took the time to understand
All our trials we have faced were all part of the plan

C1
Sovereign Lord! You made the heaven, earth, sea and everything
Your Holy Spirit dwelled in the heart of David
Who spoke Your plan long before its happening

B1
You already knew the rage in the nations
You also knew the kings' wage against the Anointed One
You knew that all this must happen
Because without this plan, we would not see Your grace, through our Lord

V3
Now that we understand Your Sovereignty
We ask for your blessing, and if not a blessing, we will understand
Enable us, Your servants, to speak Your Word with great boldness
So that Your world will also see the plan

C1
Sovereign Lord! You made the heaven, earth, sea and everything
Your Holy Spirit dwelled in the heart of David
Who spoke Your plan long before its happening

And So This is Summer

Because the school in which I teach starts early in August, we have officially ended the school year.  I can honestly say that for the most part, I had a good year.  If I could cut out the adult drama, I would say it was a great year.  Most every teacher I know who can be on summer break are doing just that but for me, I don't know what to do without being around school situations, so I am doing summer school.

I feel very lucky that I have this position with only 3 students and computer generated programs that I can easily monitor.  The thing is, the three that are in summer school with me I have taught before and although all can do things when they want to do, it is a matter of getting them focused to staying on task and praising them when things are working in their favor and assisting them with the learning necessary to understand aspects of the content which will enable them to be successful and come out with a grade they are proud of earning rather than just being passed.

I wish I could have this kind of intensely focused small groupings during the school year.  Unfortunately, budget and student numbers do not always lend itself to this more intensely monitored group.  Summer school is 20 days so I will still have the entire month of July - so there in lies my concern.  I have nothing planned which means I would just do nothing.  I need to get an idea of what I want to do.

Spending Time

There are so many times I find myself wasting time - watching TV, being online without focus, sleeping unnecessarily all of which is probably due to boredom.  Good Friday was a productive day - 4 or 5 hours of yardwork - with a great resultant look to at least the outside of my house

Today was not as productive around my house, but I did get to spend time with darling daughter.  I wish I could give her a futuristic insight to her life.  I see many of the things I did when I was her age as we have conversations.  If only a little insight that would not seem like nagging but rather as future improvement wisdom.  I am thinking that she will learn just as her mom did - by trial and error.  I just pray she doesn't make ALL the same mistakes I made. ;)

The Double Edged Sword of Private Institutions

I truly enjoy the place I teach currently.  I am supported by the administration and have a lot of latitude to try new things as long as my students are acquiring necessary knowledge, skills, and overall education of various content.  My students come from families that generally are not living from paycheck to paycheck and seem to be concerned with the grades their students are earning on a weekly or every other week basis.  With all that said, this is the time of year that causes angst due to parents making decisions to re-enroll for next year AND pump these same people for even more cash by way of the annual auction.

It isn't that I think auctions are bad, it is just that I cannot participate most of the items are frivolous/impractical or highly priced for starting bids.  I know I could write things off as a charitable donation but I just find it difficult to spend money on something that is not for me - as cool as it may be to have. 

Last week I received an email asking would I be going?  At first I was not going to go because the Carrabba's catered dinner was $40.  If I am going to spend $40 on Carrabba's, I would want to do it with my daughter so we have some quality time together.  But the money issue seemed to be petty - especially since I know I will be documenting this as a work-related event on next year's taxes.  Then it dawned on me the real reason why I didn't want to go.  I always get snagged at the last minute to some volunteer position where I can (and I am not joking here, I was really told this) "work my magic" with the technology push the auction was pushing.  Generally speaking, I do not mind volunteering but GIVE ME NOTICE ahead of time rather than on the fly.  It makes us both look sooooo much more professional.  So the first thing that ran through my mind was "If I am paying $40 a pop, I better not be asked to volunteer."

Fortunately for me, a fellow teacher knew of the latter concern and let me know that if anyone asked me anything except "how are you doing?" she would run interference so I could slip out and go home - probably without the Carrabba's meal but that was a chance worth risking.  The meal was fine and as usual, the gift baskets, swag and other nice but not necessity things to have were nice to look at and ooo and aaahhh over but nothing in which to write home to mom.  I did manage to sit at the table with the headmaster who always has amusing stories to tell.  All in all , it was a comfortable night - although I did sneak out 30 minutes early so I could come home and see if one of two things happened:  either my dog needed to go out (or peed on the kitchen floor) OR my dog finally succumbed to his 17 years of life.

Yeah, I look at my dog periodically to see if he is breathing.  He is closing in on doggy heaven, but that is a later post to come.

Who (K)New - The Idea of Knowing or Newing Myself

In the world of all things blog, I was not sure if I had started a blog here, but I suppose I did and never did anything about it. I have a few blogs all over the place but in terms of having a place for personal growth that is not related to my profession I thought I would start here and test the waters so I can possibly migrate things for my students in another blog.  Hopefully this will not become a blog of educational content, but more of the growing older - pushing that half century mark - and growing in areas of wisdom, faith, and health.  I am not sure how often I will post here (since I do have 2 others blogs that are updated pretty frequently) but I will be posting.