That's Not Fair

That’s not fair

Teaching students always has the ups and downs of right and wrong and helping a student benefit from experience.  Inevitably, the statement “that’s not fair” can rear its ugly head.  I never knew how to respond to that other than “Well, honey, life’s not fair either.  Get over it and move on.”  This statement only escalates any given situation. Not only does it make a situation worse, it can also make the teacher appear as the “big, bad bi… meanie”

In reading through Acts 25, it occurs to me that there is nothing in the Bible about “fairness”.  Fairness is something that man has developed.  I think back to something I learned in some college history course about the measurement.  Let’s say you were to buy “3 stones” of grain.  Who was the one who got to pick the stones?  For me I would have picked BOLDER-sized stones so I could get more bang for my buck.  Now I realize that I have taken some of this out of context, but really, who decided?  Man.  Or how about the merchant who sells linens/cloth and then like for making garments and wall hangings back in the day.  Who would want to buy from a merchant who sells textile material by the arm span of a merchant who has the span of mouse as compared to one who has an arm span of a seven-foot basketball player?  Again, if all things are equal, the latter would get you more than the former.

In Acts 25, Paul has been imprisoned and is being held in Caesarea by Festus, a Roman governor of the area.  “Everyone” wants to see that Paul is killed immediately without trial because of his beliefs and his teachings of Jesus.  Festus is pressured by the masses and as a way out, offers Paul the opportunity for some kind of defense in Jerusalem – good for Festus, bad for Paul who could be “accidentally” killed along the way.  Paul could have cried out “You know that is not fair!” but he didn’t.  He knew that God’s plan was to spread Christianity and the one sure-fire way to do that was to make his way to Rome.

Paul understood he needed to keep calm, he needed to not be anxious, bitter, or angry.  He needed to know and speak the truth (not find an emotion reason to explain things), and remain steadfast knowing that there was a promise that God had for him .

Good teachers attempt to be fair in most all circumstances- because there has to be reason for all decisions.  Sometimes those good teachers will find a way to help students and try to be “fair” across the board.  In those more significant times, some teachers have been known to give grace instead of being fair.  Grace and fairness are not the same.  Fairness is earned or manufactured, grace is neither.  And, by the way, grace is not given evenly among the masses. 

So what is my response to a student who doesn’t think it is “fair” for something to go his or her way?  I pose it as a situation - what might be fair for one student could be very unfair for another.  Stick with the facts.  Know the source of the dilemma and work from truth.  If you happen to experience grace, be thankful.  If grace is not part of the situation, learn from the experience.  It might be that you were on the verge of something big.   

Fear Not - Isaiah 41:10

Over the passed week I have had to hold to the faith that God is in control.  It isn't anything I can see at the moment, but by looking at past history, I know that there is a path that is being directed and just as I cannot see a road over the mountain top, there is a path that He wants me to follow.

In these times of strife and unknown information (the latter because it has not yet come to light), I have found myself hoping God would just give me the remote control so I could hit the fast forward button and get to the end of the story.  At least I could know that things work out and even if they don't work out for my intended reasons, they do work out for His good.  The unknown is the worst thing.  It conjures up multiple story possibilities and we all know that those possibilities might not be swayed in the direction of rainbows and happy faces.

I have to remember Isaiah 41:10

                fear not, for I am with you;

                                             be not dismayed, for I am your God;

                       I will strengthen you, I will help you,

                                              I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.

I have yet to internalize this because I still have concern for things that involve those that I love.  I need to let go of this fear that God isn't in control.  He is and for what it is worth, God's glory will prevail, maybe not in my time (immediate or lifetime) but in His time.

Who knows, this blip of a crises that seems overwhelming now will be a fleeting memory 10 years from now.  Maybe those involved will have moments that Job experienced - being blamed for something he did not do.  For the sake of families involved, I pray this is the case but I am not so sure it will come to fruition.

Almost There, Be Steadfast

The end of the semester is in two days.  At this point in time, my guess is that parents have looked at their students grades and for some, lacking and slacking students, the outlook does not look as bright.  What has been a life of non-involved students who I know have needed assistance but refusing, is not the swampland of the kids who want to be able to see their phones, ipods, iPads, computers and the like after next Monday when they will be held for the ransom of "you need to improve your grade".

First quarter, I gave students a break and accepted missing and late work, but this quarter is not the same.  Students were given printed documentation of their individual grades at least every three weeks.  I don't think it is unreasonable to expect students to attempt to improve on their own BUT I know some students have a fear of fessing up so I emailed these same documents to the parents - but here is the rub, many of my parents refuse to give an email address and when attempting to call home, phone numbers tend to be a crap shoot.  I have found a high correlation to students who are not good at completing in-class assignments/homework and parents who have 4 or 5 different phone numbers because the phone has been cut off and they are finding a "cheaper" service.

I have resorted to not giving homework and taking a "total recall" grade at least two times a week so that I have some kind of grade that represents the level of understanding.  The problem is, I feel conflicted.  What service am I doing to these kids who barely do the minimum.  At some point in time, the dog and pony shows that keep their interest have to transition to something of their own desire to learn so they can be intelligent voters and citizens of our future.  It is exhausting.  But it is almost time to start again.  In the next five days I need to develop a new plan of attack that will challenge my students to desire to uncover information from their own perspective and be able to apply it.

Almost there.  Lord, help me to remain unshaken and steadfast, to stand my ground and expect light to get through the cracked surfaces of my students' hearts.

James 1:12

Blessed is the man who remains steadfast under trial, for when he has stood the test he will receive the crown of life, which God has promised to those who love him

What is my mission?

^{Judges 13:12} And Manoah said, “Now when your words come true, what is to be the child's manner of life, and what is his mission?” 

In Judges 13, the birth of Samson is brought to light through an angel of God.  Isn't it great that more often than not, women find it easier to believe than men, well, with the exception of Sarah who laughed when over hearing that she would bear a son at the age of 80.  Frankly I think I might have laughed too but not in a “you must be kidding” way but rather in the “they’re coming to take me away! HA HA” way.

And many times it seems as if the men in the story have a way to question their faith.  In this story, Manoah finds out from his wife he is going to be a father – because some unknown man told her.

Side note:  we find out the man’s name but the wife is always referred to as WOMAN, as if she doesn't matter.  That is a little disconcerting to me.  Without her, there would not have been a Samson. But I digress.  Let’s get back to the story.

Now, can you imagine your wife coming to you and saying something like:

Woman:  Hey, man of my dreams, love of my life, I am pregnant and I can’t drink wine with you on date night, I can’t eat all those sweet gooey things you love to buy or those great high calorie “unhealthy” foods because I will be birthing a Nazirite.  Oh and by the way, we aren’t allowed to cut his hair… EVER.  No first hair cut to be documented ever.

Manoah:  How do you know?  You have been  barren all your life. 

Woman:  A man of God told me while at our house 

Manoah:  What?  There was a man at the house?  Were you drinking when he was there?  What ELSE happened that he is so sure you are preggers? 

Woman:  If you want those answers, you better start praying buddy.

All kidding aside, Manoah actually does pray for answers and the man of God returns but this time out in the open, in a field.  Basically a conversation ensues and Manoah asks the question of the ages

¹² And Manoah said, “Now when your words come true, what is to be the child's manner of life, and what is his mission?” 

This is me most of my life but the words that I usually utter is “Can you just push the fast forward button so I can see how it will all turn out? I just want to know all the pain and suffering will have a purpose and I will know that everything will be all right.”

I know this is a sign of not acting as if I put my trust in God.  I know I have not yet let go so that I can “let God” work out his plan.  I am too comfortable in my own circumstances because they are familiar.  Why add frustration to my life based on unknown factors.  This might be due in part that I have to have everything planned out in my job as a teacher and have a plan A, B and C – just in case.

What I need to do is offer up my version of Manoah and his wife’s burnt offering and just allow God to do his great works through me instead of around me.

Acts 8:4-25 Giving Him Your All

Bottom Line:  God has given everything to us.  Have we (and do we every day) give ourselves back to God?

A friend of mine posted this on her social media wall "God wants full custody of you, not weekend visitation."

Christians like to think of having themselves committed to God, yet we are afraid to do just that.  Examples that come to mind:
I would give more, but I have to be able to pay the mortgage (and go out with my friends, and...)
I am willing to dive into the bible more often, but first I have to.....
I will be more active in my church, however, I am not as church/Christian as many who are leading ....

I must confess, I have had instances of all of these statements and more, and I still do have these issues but they come and go in cycles.

In this reading, we come to know a little about Simon the Magician.  He knows how to bewilder the masses so they are willing to work for him - a little on the occult side  I would say.  He sees and hears the things that Phillip is professing about Jesus Christ.  You could say he got that Sunday morning feeling - a believing that makes us feel good inside, he even was baptized and starting following Phillip around in hopes to hear more and learn more.  Phillip is doing so well in Samaria (which is like going and preaching in enemy territory) that word gets back to the apostles and they send Peter and John to see what is going on.  Can you imagine?  They must have been like proud parents going to see what their newly Christian kid has been doing in the land that didn't like the idea of people preaching about Christ.

In on the scene comes Peter and John, who continue to speak to the masses about Jesus and pray for the Holy Spirit to descend upon those new Christians.  It is almost as if all these new Christians had all the head knowledge of Jesus, but without the presence of the Holy Spirit, there was not much in the way of "heart knowledge" of the Messiah.  When Peter and John laid hands on these individuals, it must have been like a light coming on.  Understanding in a way that had never been experienced because these baby Christians were ready to receive the Holy Spirit.

At this point, Simon thinks there is something to this and wants to know the trick.  In fact, he is willing to pay for it.  You might say that Simon just doesn't get it.  Peter ends up giving him the what for and lets Simon know that his money is no good and you can't receive the feeling/blessing/Holy Spirit because "your heart is not right before God. " (Act 8:21)

Isn't that the way it always goes?  You are not in the right mind set to get things done.  Your intent is for YOU to be getting the best, not God.  In the long run, you are suffering/agonizing/guilt-ridden because you know what you need to do, but your heart just isn't in it, and since we tend to make decisions on emotion at times, it is easy to way-lay yourself from doing what is right.

I don't want to be a "Simon".  Not only is he told his heart is in the wrong place but Peter goes on to tell him he better get his act together and repent and PRAY like hell and MAYBE, "if possible", your heart's intent MIGHT be forgiven.  There is no one on Earth wants to get a "maybe" as an answer.  Simon does not either so he asks Peter to pray that he is not abandoned by the Lord.  How is that for a cliff hanger?  We don't even know if Simon does receive the Holy Spirit.  All we know is that the apostles went on and continued to preach the Gospel.

So where are we in our walk to getting into the right mind/heart standing for us to receive the Holy Spirit?  Are we willing to give our life, our thoughts, our time, our gifts and our money with the idea that God will provide in the long run?  This is not the Prosperity Gospel as much as it is an ETERNITY Gospel.  God will provide ... in the end.  Are we willing to give it all to Him with that understanding?  If we can, we might be more ready to receive His blessings as well as the peace that the Holy Spirit can give us.

Today's picture - Reflections

Thankful for Marvelous Mom and Darling Daughter

Gratitude:  a means of giving thanks for the many blessings that are brought into our life.  It is the one thing that I am not good at doing.  I have a propensity to find the things that can go wrong before I can make myself find the things that are blessings - no matter how big or small.  I guess that comes with the sinful nature that man experiences.  It is so easy to slack off and so hard (for me in some things) to work to keep the train moving.  Inertia could be my middle name.  :)

So since I know nothing just "happens" without taking the first start, I think I am going to start more gratitude posts.  I am thankful for my mom who as I grow older, becomes more and more closer in mind, thought, and circumstances.  We do not live within a close range to see one another, but when we are, there are things that we will say or do that make us both giggle or shake our head in disbelief that we have some of the same sentiments.  I must say, there were times in my life when I thought I would never get along with her - though no one really knew this.  We played a little bit of the "cold war"or "find a way to be too busy" to notice that we were both really miserable.  There are still fences to be mended and bridges to cross, but they will come in time if they are really that important to either of us.  At this point in time, I have not lived under her roof for almost 30 years so there is no use bringing up old dirt.

Love that mom o'mine but I have to admit, there is a bond that may be stronger when you have your own kid.  I am thankful for a daughter who has a good head on her shoulders and a will to do the best she can.  She is creative and funny, at times she blows me away with the depth of her understanding of the human will and at other times I worry that she is blazing down the same burnt out trail of relationships that I once road.  It may not be pretty, I will be disheartening, but growth will come from it.  I just hope she doesn't do everything her mom did.

Growth.... there is so much to say about it, but that will have to be for another post.

The Overview Effect

http://vimeo.com/55073825

There is something about watching videos that have an emphasis on taking care of Earth that just amazes me.  I am touched by how awesome God's creation is and then think, "Wow, God has this view EVERY DAY!"

I am doing a great work...

Nehemiah was lead by God to go "visit" Jerusalem and found the city wall in a shambles.  To improve the safety of the area as well as possibly have the residents take ownership and pride in the town, he directed the towns people to rebuild the dilapidated wall.  In the process, he also helped in the renovating and rebuilding of the wall.

With the possibility of  Jerusalem being fortified, those who were able to rule over the city for the long years of the torn down wall were worried that Nehemiah might create his own "strength" and cause them to be alarmed.  So these rulers tried to distract Nehemiah and encouraged him to come off the wall (and the building of the wall) and meet with other powers that be.  (The real reason was to lure him off the wall to kill him.)

Nehemiah's response was one of purpose and one of following the will of God.  "I am doing a great work and cannot come down."

We all need to keep this in mind.  If what we are doing with our lives is God-honoring, we should not be easily distracted and continue along the path of purpose.  For me, health - both physical and financial - have been way overly distracted and with no purpose that could be considered God-honoring.  So part of my designs on this upcoming year is to "do a great work" and "not come down" until the project is complete.

Staying on the path to good "health" is the thing I am seeking.  And speaking of paths.... here is one of my more recent photo ops

Polar Plunge

Colder in the water than out of the water.  Lots of people but only for about 20 minutes - long enough to get in and have friends take pictures and then get back home and dry off

 

 

If you look you look close you will see it was 59* in the water but 65 out of the water.

 

 

Lots of people came to watch, others came to plunge

 

 

And once they were in, they were right back out.  I have a few pictures of me but I will wait on posting them.  I went in once my friends came back and could hold the camera.

 

Then it was off to breakfast.  This was a different start to the new year.

 

 

 

New Years!

It is now 2 hours into the new year and I am thinking that I might take part in the Polar Plunge that is at 9am.  That would require me to 1. find something to dunk myself in - because Lord only knows where my swim suit is located and 2. get everything ready (clothes for both during and after the plunge) and 3. get my butt to bed.

If I get up by 8, I will make it.  Did I tell you I haven't gotten out of bed until 11ish during this entire Christmas break?  HAHAHAHAHAHAHA  (Oh school on Wednesday is going to be murder on my body clock.)

NYE - No Resolutions - Just Wisdom, Please

Yesterday I was in a small panic due to procrastination, then I realized I was not to be back at school until Wednesday.  Procrastination extended and granted.  I did manage to figure out what I will be doing with my high school students the rest of the week - much to their false hopes that I would not be productive. Although I have a plan, I have yet to grade those papers - that will be tomorrow.  I will not be partying in the New Year - as it is plain to see since I am on the computer - so I will be able to work throughout the day tomorrow if necessary.

NYE always has lots of well-wishing and statements of how so-and-so WILL do better or WILL NOT be doing something or other that is leading their lives to nothing productive.  I see it every year, yet about 10 days to a month, people are giving up, and waiting for the next "starting" point - Monday, on the first of the month, during this next break in work, etc.  I choose not to do that.

This year I choose to take a few risks (not many and nothing that would not be found on the 11 o'clock news) and get out of the house or showing any God-given talents I have to be to the joy or delight of our Lord.  Everything else is just bonus.  Keeping my eye on the cross rather than my own short-comings or valleys of life is the decision I choose for this NYE.  It will have no visual measures, but could very well be immeasurable.


Just because I am such a geek for tree photos, I had to put this picture up.  I year ago I found out I enjoyed driving with no purpose other than to lose myself and find new areas to photograph.  This one brought me to the Keystone Heights area.

Thinking about the Things Read or Heard today

“When it is darkest, men see the stars.” Ralph Waldo Emerson

"God is the Master of making miracles in the midst of messes" Joby Martin

During the Christmas break, teachers have that wonderful feeling that revolves around sleeping in, doing things(or not)  on their own schedule, actually HAVING lunch rather than inhaling lunch as well as a list of other things.  This break has be by far the least productive in my many years of teaching and the most hollow of vacations.  Not sure why the angst of the season is so prevalent but I am ready for a change.  Mind you, I am not ready to be back in my classroom just yet - and maybe that is the problem in and of itself - but also not ready to get my mind back in gear.

I would say on average, I have a good life.  I have a job, a great daughter who is much more ambitious than I have ever been, and  a house that is fine and knock on wood is not costing me an arm and a leg.  I am active in my church, yet I seem to be more about the busy-ness of working/serving than I am in seeking God's wisdom which probably is why me and people like me have a gaping hole about them.  Something is missing

"How's your prayer life?" is the question I get from those who also are active in my church.  "It's more active than it use to be" is always my answer, but is that really an answer?  Would I allow a student of mine to get away with an answer like that.  The resounding answer is NO. 

Today's sermon was about how Stephen is seen by the religious big wigs as being blasphemous against Moses and God.   Not only was he not doing this, but others were leading these religious leaders to believe it as true - who'd a thought, people lied back in biblical times!

But God was working amongst this mess - He was working a plan and allowing those who did not live back in the day to recall their own forefathers' history:

• Abraham - left his own homeland on the word of God to GO (though Abraham did not know to where)
• Abraham - belief that he would have many descendants - though at 80 years of age did not have one child
• Joseph (the one of the coat of many colors) - was put through the ringer - brothers hated him for be the one that daddy loved more so they sold him, he then was enslaved but because of his belief in God having a plan survived not only to live but to help his family live too even during a famine
• Moses - given up by his mother in hopes that he may live rather than being killed to be brought up in the Pharaoh's house, educated and possibly lead Egypt until he decides to visit his fellow Israelites and ends up leading them out of enslavement but to parts unknown and for a long time - in the end, God had a plan of action.  He needed all of this to occur for Moses to come face to face with him on the mountain.

This is all wonderful stuff, but geez, we are talking about big wigs of the bible.  My name doesn't even show up in the bible.  How is the mess that I have in my head any part of God's plan?  Then as I procrastinated one more day from lesson planning and I chose to read my various social network feeds I came across the Emerson quote.  Now I am wondering if I actually have fallen to the darkest part of my cognitive existence.  Will I actually be able to see/feel God?  How can I hit that fast forward button to see that everything will work out - at least for the glory of God rather than my own selfish wants or desires - at least I would know the end of the story and then not worry about the road I travel.

Which brings me back to that nagging question:  How's your prayer life?  Do you even choose to talk with God?  The answer has been "No, I live in quiet solitude."  The only time I talk to people is when I force myself to go out to the market or got shoot pictures.  I seem to have lost (or misplaced) my gift of gab that I had oh so many years ago.  I don't know how to get my mojo back.

How's your prayer life?  Mine has been one of avoidance, but it is getting better.  I think.

Today's photo shoot

Procrastination

My middle name, my arch nemesis, my guilt creator.  I have had some great ideas over the years yet because of that devil Mr. P, I have limited follow through.  I can start things but without a long term plan, things vaporize pretty quickly.

I have had two weeks to complete the grading of papers, yet I am now down to two days and haven't even gotten those papers out of my car.  Between that and my lesson plans that I thought I would attack during the Christmas break, my New Years Eve will probably be spent at my desk at home - don't get me wrong, I know it is my own undoing.  I have found the luxury of sleeping in and going for photography jaunts more appealing than doing the things that actually help to pay my bills.  I have always known that I would be a teacher, but not to do it for life.  I want to do something that gives me more joy - rather than being the task master/policing agent of all things "standardized".

Maybe that is the thing.  I just get no joy out of teaching the way I use to and I have become a processor with a warped sense of humor and the ability to make students laugh at times.  I wish I didn't teach something that was "standardized" with testing and benchmarks.  I just want to teach.

Hmm, maybe I need to think about doing something I more readily enjoy.  In the mean time, maybe one more photographic jaunt......C'mon Mr. P.

Has it been an entire year since I visited/wrote on this blog?

Okay, so maybe it has been more than a year but in my defense, I have a few others - ones that reflect the hipster-wannabe that my alter ego would like to entertain. I was just wondering if this was still on the radar and if so, what should I do with it?

Since know one knows me on the interwebz here as a blogger, maybe this can my "thinking" blog.  Which brings me to today's thought.

While driving mindlessly around my city (meaning I just was out and about with no planned destination, not that I was out of my mind while driving) I was listening to the radio.  No, I do not have satellite radio so I am at the mercy of whatever is available.  Good thing I am an NPR nerd.  But I digress.

On this particular radio show, the speaker quoted a  Leonard Cohen's song with the lyrics:
                                   "There is a crack in everything. That's how the light gets in." 

As I drove, things that floated in and out of my mind resembled the traffic of random cars I could see (I happened to be driving in the evening going home traffic full of people who were going to begin their NYE weekend by hitting happy hour or getting ready for the Gator Bowl game that will be here this weekend).  Random and off the wall things were bulleting in and around my brain: 
            I wish I had taken a pottery class,
            Jars of Clay - they have a few songs I like but I can't remember which ones at the moment,     
            What good does the light do getting into a crack?
            Wonder what I could grow in a cracked pot?

Then it hit me.... I am a freaking cracked pot!  The light has been going in and out of me for years yet it doesn't hit the thing inside me that starts the spark that allows that same kind of light to EXIT the vessel for all the world to see.

I have been a Christian for a long while and although have not been a great prayer or reader of the bible, I do seek podcasts of Gospel-driven pastors and put these on my iPod as I walk (literally, not figuratively) and I am an active behind the scenes participant at my church that has gotten off to a running start.  This Cracked Pot idea got me thinking not only in words but in picture form.  Imagine this video - something on an Indiana Jones motif:

There is a huge clay pot/vessel (about the size of me) that has been in the dark for so long that it doesn't even seem to be annoyed by the fact it is not being used for good.  It has been hidden for so long, no one even remembers seeing it.  But then there is an unearthing of darkness and a sliver of light is able to get to the vessel.  That light is coming from a surveyor (or savior if you will) who knows that something exists on this land yet can't see it just yet due to the darkness that surrounds it, yet He knows it is there and He is wanting to find it.

A light makes its way through the darkness and there in this cavern of darkness and numbness is the clay vessel with cracks throughout.  Light is allowed through those cracks.  The surveyor realizes there is something inside the vessel.  It is a very unique object that if heated to just the right temperature, will ignite a flame that burns for an inordinate amount of time.  And that flame allows others to see as well.

So the surveyor digs to open the light from the sun to shine down on it.  As the sun moves across this opening, it manages to cast shadows on the inside of the  vessel, but not ignite the precious object found inside.  It is not the right angle of the sun to hit the vessel.  It is not the vessels time to create light - not yet, but in time.  Give it time.

Reunions - revisiting yourself

Reunions of this season of my life range from a small family reunion to a bigger high school reunion.  One will be relaxing and laid back, the other could turn out to be an on-the go adventure from one activity or set of people to another.

I thought I had come to a peace in myself that I was not all that carrying of what people think of me.  The bottom line being if they are superficial in "sizing" me up, I probably wouldn't want to be around them anyway.  But then you look back on old pictures.  All I see are happy faces of my friends, my relatives and myself and, even knowing I was not the happiest camper back in the 70's and 80's, still wonder where that person went.

We should be happy in our own skin and not have much concern for the superficial aspects of one's existence yet, reunions tend to draw all the superficiality of ourselves out.  I wonder why that is.  I find myself at times being a major hypocrit to my students of whom I offer the idea to "be yourself rather than what others want you to be" yet the people pleaser in me wants to just make everything okay no matter if it creates an pseudo-self or not.  Rest assured, it isn't the true me.  The one that finds simple happiness in researching things on the interent that will "someday" be used in my classroom, or some other geeky thing that is considered the next free way to occupy my time.

Off to get things cleaned and straightened for the first part of the reunion weeks.  If I stay busy, I don't need to think.  Right?

The Plan

Acts 4:24-31

V1
We were praying for the safety of our friends
We were praying for security of our brothers
But Lord, You always knew the plan
And we now recognize we are here for all others

C1
Sovereign Lord! You made the heaven, earth, sea and everything
Your Holy Spirit dwelled in the heart of David
Who spoke Your plan long before its happening

V2
We praise you Sovereign Lord
You have known the plan for all the ages
If we only took the time to understand
All our trials we have faced were all part of the plan

C1
Sovereign Lord! You made the heaven, earth, sea and everything
Your Holy Spirit dwelled in the heart of David
Who spoke Your plan long before its happening

B1
You already knew the rage in the nations
You also knew the kings' wage against the Anointed One
You knew that all this must happen
Because without this plan, we would not see Your grace, through our Lord

V3
Now that we understand Your Sovereignty
We ask for your blessing, and if not a blessing, we will understand
Enable us, Your servants, to speak Your Word with great boldness
So that Your world will also see the plan

C1
Sovereign Lord! You made the heaven, earth, sea and everything
Your Holy Spirit dwelled in the heart of David
Who spoke Your plan long before its happening

And So This is Summer

Because the school in which I teach starts early in August, we have officially ended the school year.  I can honestly say that for the most part, I had a good year.  If I could cut out the adult drama, I would say it was a great year.  Most every teacher I know who can be on summer break are doing just that but for me, I don't know what to do without being around school situations, so I am doing summer school.

I feel very lucky that I have this position with only 3 students and computer generated programs that I can easily monitor.  The thing is, the three that are in summer school with me I have taught before and although all can do things when they want to do, it is a matter of getting them focused to staying on task and praising them when things are working in their favor and assisting them with the learning necessary to understand aspects of the content which will enable them to be successful and come out with a grade they are proud of earning rather than just being passed.

I wish I could have this kind of intensely focused small groupings during the school year.  Unfortunately, budget and student numbers do not always lend itself to this more intensely monitored group.  Summer school is 20 days so I will still have the entire month of July - so there in lies my concern.  I have nothing planned which means I would just do nothing.  I need to get an idea of what I want to do.

Spending Time

There are so many times I find myself wasting time - watching TV, being online without focus, sleeping unnecessarily all of which is probably due to boredom.  Good Friday was a productive day - 4 or 5 hours of yardwork - with a great resultant look to at least the outside of my house

Today was not as productive around my house, but I did get to spend time with darling daughter.  I wish I could give her a futuristic insight to her life.  I see many of the things I did when I was her age as we have conversations.  If only a little insight that would not seem like nagging but rather as future improvement wisdom.  I am thinking that she will learn just as her mom did - by trial and error.  I just pray she doesn't make ALL the same mistakes I made. ;)

The Double Edged Sword of Private Institutions

I truly enjoy the place I teach currently.  I am supported by the administration and have a lot of latitude to try new things as long as my students are acquiring necessary knowledge, skills, and overall education of various content.  My students come from families that generally are not living from paycheck to paycheck and seem to be concerned with the grades their students are earning on a weekly or every other week basis.  With all that said, this is the time of year that causes angst due to parents making decisions to re-enroll for next year AND pump these same people for even more cash by way of the annual auction.

It isn't that I think auctions are bad, it is just that I cannot participate most of the items are frivolous/impractical or highly priced for starting bids.  I know I could write things off as a charitable donation but I just find it difficult to spend money on something that is not for me - as cool as it may be to have. 

Last week I received an email asking would I be going?  At first I was not going to go because the Carrabba's catered dinner was $40.  If I am going to spend $40 on Carrabba's, I would want to do it with my daughter so we have some quality time together.  But the money issue seemed to be petty - especially since I know I will be documenting this as a work-related event on next year's taxes.  Then it dawned on me the real reason why I didn't want to go.  I always get snagged at the last minute to some volunteer position where I can (and I am not joking here, I was really told this) "work my magic" with the technology push the auction was pushing.  Generally speaking, I do not mind volunteering but GIVE ME NOTICE ahead of time rather than on the fly.  It makes us both look sooooo much more professional.  So the first thing that ran through my mind was "If I am paying $40 a pop, I better not be asked to volunteer."

Fortunately for me, a fellow teacher knew of the latter concern and let me know that if anyone asked me anything except "how are you doing?" she would run interference so I could slip out and go home - probably without the Carrabba's meal but that was a chance worth risking.  The meal was fine and as usual, the gift baskets, swag and other nice but not necessity things to have were nice to look at and ooo and aaahhh over but nothing in which to write home to mom.  I did manage to sit at the table with the headmaster who always has amusing stories to tell.  All in all , it was a comfortable night - although I did sneak out 30 minutes early so I could come home and see if one of two things happened:  either my dog needed to go out (or peed on the kitchen floor) OR my dog finally succumbed to his 17 years of life.

Yeah, I look at my dog periodically to see if he is breathing.  He is closing in on doggy heaven, but that is a later post to come.

Who (K)New - The Idea of Knowing or Newing Myself

In the world of all things blog, I was not sure if I had started a blog here, but I suppose I did and never did anything about it. I have a few blogs all over the place but in terms of having a place for personal growth that is not related to my profession I thought I would start here and test the waters so I can possibly migrate things for my students in another blog.  Hopefully this will not become a blog of educational content, but more of the growing older - pushing that half century mark - and growing in areas of wisdom, faith, and health.  I am not sure how often I will post here (since I do have 2 others blogs that are updated pretty frequently) but I will be posting.